"I do believe my testicles are smashed," said Alfred.
He may have been lying, perhaps even joking, but one thing was certain: he was bleeding profusely from the crotch. And it was at this point, as the room began to spin like Fiona Lewis at the end of The Fury (or, if you do not watch Brian De Palma movies, like Jean Pierre-Leaud whilst pinned to the wall of "The Rotor" in The 400 Blows), that he remembered to his extreme embarrassment he owed a call to Carl Weathers. And it was then, for the first time in his life, that Alfred began to hurt.
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